Turkey (not the Potbelly one!)

Last night I dreamed that the airplane landed and I read a big board saying "Welcome to Turkey". I simply thought: "Neat! I always wanted to visit Turkey anyway!!". Then I started wandering around the airport and I remembered that someone once told me that it was not nice for a lady to be walking alone in a certain country.......I tried to remember which country it was, but since I couldn't, I figured out it might as well be Turkey, so I decided to be careful (In fact it was not Turkey. Now that I am awake I remember which country it was, but I'd rather not mention it here).

I started trying to find a cab but I saw none. So I went to a group of police officers and asked them where I could get a cab. A nice policewoman told me that she could call for a taxi for free for me; she just needed the address of the place I was heading to. I told her I didn't know...so she said she couldn't get me a cab.

I had no clue why I arrived in Turkey and where I was going afterwards. I had a feeling that I might be going to Germany in 3days, but wasn't sure. I had no guides, no idea of what was about to happen and why I went there. The simple fact that I was in a neat place was enough. I thought about going to a Hotel, but I wasn't sure how much money I should spend, since I didn't know for how long I would be staying there. At that point I assume I should be trying to figure out what to do next, but I simply remained there chatting with the group of police officers. They were all so nice to me. One lady mentioned that she was also a foreigner and I asked her from where...she replied, in French (but with an accent), that it was not a neat place. I kept looking at her face imagining where she could be from...I had a guess but I didn't dare saying it, as she would think that I figured out her origin just for listening that her country was not interesting. And for a moment I wondered if there is such a thing as an uninteresting country. But then we just kept on chatting. After few minutes I knew that 2 of them were a couple, but their high officer shouldn't know that. We were all chatting, as old friends. I had the feeling that the foreigner one would invite me to stay at her place while I would be in Turkey -- we were already too good friends. At a certain point I said something in Italian and then corrected myself back to English.....then I told them the only sentence I know in Turkish....... And even when they were all talking in a language I can't distinguish a sound, I felt like I could. Everything was so natural....so normal. 

Estranho esta coisa de sonhar com a Turquia. Mais estranho ainda uma Turquia sem planejamento, sem causas ou finalidades claras. Estranho o contentamento apenas por estar em um lugar diverso, carregado de possibilidades infinitas, cheio de novidades. Eu não consigo me lembrar se falei da minha origem, mas acredito que não. Souberam que eu não era dali e isso foi suficiente. Como aquela outra, que se disse estrangeira......bastou dizer que não havia nada demais naquele detalhe de nacionalidade para que o assunto fosse interrompido (em Francês). Tentei entender suas feições, seu olhar. Eu a havia tomado por Turca, e muito bem ela poderia sê-lo. Ela saiu de casa (Onde é casa? Where is home?), fez novos amigos, aprendeu uma língua diversa e vestiu um uniforme. O que mais precisava para ser um deles? Ponto e basta. 

Gostei de experimentar um absoluto acaso, cheio de possibilidades. Sei que não saber para onde vou não costuma me parecer muito interessante. Sei bem que fiquei enfadada de não poder planejar os próximos meses...sei que muito por isso eu decidi trocar de prioridades não há muito. 

I indeed gave up much to be where I am right now. I gave up concrete things for something else....I am still fully confident it was the correct choice. And I want to pay off the debts I left for not helping those kids in D. just by being able to do what my heart burns for.....I can still work with the things I love....but in a different perspective (It is the first time I write about that...still not in a concrete way, but it is a start). 

I did so much in order to not be unaware of the following months but what is life if not an airplane that takes you anywhere (as Turkey, why not?!)....for those who shared with me the feeling of having soup or vegetables with curry and a touch of "despearation" for not knowing where we would be in a while, I really don't need to say much. 

But it really surprised me that a dream would make me acknowledge that even working hard to have roots one can never know for sure where he is heading to. And even though it could be a little dangerous for a lady to be wandering around, it is unbelivable interesting to deal with the huge and amazing board saying "Welcome to Turkey!!", a place you didn't plan heading to.